that's an acceptable place to lick
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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