I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
