dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
