on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
