will power is for people who don't want to get laid
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
