Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
