I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How does it feel to date your dad?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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