i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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