I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
