well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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