just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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