Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
