Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
