Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
