We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
