it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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