Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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