how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
