you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
