she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
