mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
