there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Pants are for mortals
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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