Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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