Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
