So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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