DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
