Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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