He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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