none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm gonna fight the coyote
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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