Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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