if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
