But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
