what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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