tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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