i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
