i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
