Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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