Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
