I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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