She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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