And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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