no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
