i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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