If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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