cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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