In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Hippo gnu deer
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
