She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
