New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
