Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
