so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
