there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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